What Australians Consider Romantic

Romance takes on a whole new meaning Down Under.


This local approach to exchanging heartfelt words of adoration.

in australia we don’t say “i love you” we say “fuck off cunt or ill smash ya” and i think it’s truly beautiful

Twitter: @bitchlasange


This quintessential date night for a young couple in the throws of the honeymoon period.


This (concerningly) accurate depiction of a post-coitus activity.

i imagine dating an australian is like normal except 10 minutes after fucking they say we have to go to bunnings for some things right now

Twitter: @spacetwinks


This first-date story that mirrors most Aussies’ experiences with goon in a romantic setting.

Valentine’s Day, he got super drunk off a goon bag and yacked all over the pavement in front of me. I had to lend him my jacket because he was shivering real bad then helped him into a taxi when he could stand again 🤢

Twitter: @s0ybeancake


This exceptionally Australian alternative to the classic bouquet of flowers: Lantana in an empty beer tin.


This date-night cocktail that keeps the nation’s love of coffee front and centre.

Twitter: @kelvin_yli


This double serving of Aussie bubbles that only gets pulled out for the finest occasions.


This act of heroism that proves chivalry ain’t dead.

dating an australian guy is literally so weird because i’ll be scared to kill house spiders, meanwhile he’ll be like “OI did ya see that fucken massive scorpion i found in ma backyaurd yesteday? fucken bonkers, man.”

Twitter: @quakeverse


This delightful turn of phrase that you can expect to be treated to when dating an Australian man.

dating an Australian is hilarious he says things like “get amongst your pillow” and “you have so good hair” and he calls tampons “tamdogs”

Twitter: @imteddybless


This ~fun fact~ that remains a metaphor for the preferences of Australian men.

The Australian jewel beetle nearly went extinct because it kept trying to have sex with discarded beer bottles, preferring them to actual potential female mates

Twitter: @zermatist


This frequently uttered phrase on Australian dating shows.

Only Australian dating shows manage to work the phrase ‘Cheap bag of goon’ into the dates. #WLCTT

Twitter: @FlossAus


This gorgeous bouquet of native flora with a native spread.


This absolute masterpiece in cocktail making, that’s the only acceptable date bevvie from here on out.


This perfectly legitimate date for a couple of loved-up Aussies.

#youknowyoureaustralianwhen it’s completely acceptable to take someone on a date to bunnings for the sausage sizzle…

Twitter: @RagingNickie


And finally, this breathtakingly romantic card that would make even the biggest of cynics weak at the knees.

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